Sunday, November 16, 2014

Songs and stars

Memories...like the familiar void, or the drops of sound, the vibration of melancholy you feel in your body upon hearing it...like a God dreaming, awakening and sleeping over and over again, remembering the Now moment, as if lived before...then a turning of events shows you the emptiness of it all.
What you bring to it is all yours, you fill it with meaning, with energy, with love...as a pouring of a vessel, the ocean within trickles into all matter. It shows you its face, its wondrous 'hello' when your need cries at the night....and you meet the angels in disguise...

The whole story unfolds and no matter what, you become closer to it, to home, to what you search for, even in the deepest caves, the most narrow side streets, the detours, the darkness. Even there, as far as you may go, you are near...You show yourself you can do it, you can go there and overcome it, the soul survives. You rise out of it again, out of ashes, out of torment. It is pity that tears at you like a gloved attempt to hide your face. If you own where you are, the Universe will smile. The lonely seconds will breathe upon you and only you will be able to hear them. In a secret whisper, the whole world will feel you. It will respond to you. The tides, they come and go, like the swelling of the Moon. In the waning hours, she may not always be visible to you, but she is always there, in all her beauty, behind the dark.



Tuesday, October 21, 2014

The edge of sleep

Sleep fades awareness,
Like peeling another layer off of you
It melts consciousness, slowly,
in a daze
As you float away to oblivion,
A land never remembered,
A journey so delicate,
it cannot be done in daylight

A hidden step into the otherworld
begins,
As drowsy eyelashes surrender
the cling to sight,
All is sacrificed
Toward hours of numbness
Curtains fall and truth begins to tremble,
All is different

Sharp voids and wakeless thoughts
Swim in the ocean, the abyss,
the dark waters take you within,
A land of irreconcilable emptiness
But you are still you upon waking,
Gazing upon light figures and shapes

Simple pleasures beckon you...
As faded as yesterday,
They still call on you
Together, you dance on this Earth
Bound by gravity again
Somewhat senseless, somewhat enthralled,
The piercings of awe
begin to trickle, to flood the body
Carried by an endless mystery,
The wakefulness that lifts matter...


Saturday, October 18, 2014

Astrology and the game

With Pluto in Capricorn for quite a while (until 2024), and the new transitions of Mercury retrograde through Scorpio and then Libra (from Oct 10-25), we can see that structure can collapse, old world views are no longer realistic, and we simply change our minds, and as we peer into the dark underworld of Pluto, it can be difficult to accept.
Dreams can be wildly important right now. I had an extremely bizarre and dark dream just last night, and felt the transitioning energies of Pluto but also from Scorpio, the sign ruled by Pluto. It is a powerful time to ponder the important things, what we cling to, and how easily they will be taken away. It is a clear understanding, that the game is temporary, that we are here within a carved out framework of material existence, but that our grandeur is way beyond that. We do not reside here, we visit. Pluto is there to remind us of this, it is a very powerful message. The time we have is crucial around these transitions, for we will be faced with the most important decisions and realizations of our lives. Capricorn manifests into matter, it is one of the most capable signs of doing this, and out of all planets, Pluto, the destroyer, the unconscious force, the hidden, the occult, comes here and shakes things up. It is no coincidence...the darkness brings loss, fear, an exaltation of your imagined demons. It brings us to the verge of anxiety, or losing our own identity perhaps. However, that identity was most likely an illusion. But that is the wonder within this loss. It does nothing more than strip you of all the false layers you have dressed your soul in. The destruction is the explosion that leaves you standing on the edge of all you used to cling to, staring at it, purified and clean. It does nothing more than show you to yourself...the thoughts that will arise out of this sea of Scorpio energy can be dark, unnerving, uncomfortable. You may not recognize them, or may feel alien to it all, questioning how you came to think them, who you are... and not knowing how to integrate them into your consciousness. The nature of this is the new force that comes out of it, if it wasn't new to you, you would never learn from it. It is supposed to be alien...for you are now transforming. The questions will be of source, of how we identify ourselves. What is the border, what are my own thoughts, or someone else's, the collective? That delineation gets blurrier...The next 10 years should be interesting to say the least.


Saturday, October 11, 2014

Shake the fear

The small things keep us alive...the details in a furrowed face, the wispy breeze on a summer night, a smile that talks. It is these moments that create the utmost beauty, ephemeral, fleeting and fragile, vulnerable to the effects of routine that blinds...
For it is in these seconds that life takes many shapes and shows us remarkable truths, it is the smallest moments that the Universe speaks through, with large words, with things that click on a hidden level. What we attract is even more so a sign of who we are, what we've become along the way. This can change, and so can what we attract. It is in this simple yet hidden metaphysical truth that we lose sight of the dynamics of the internal world and how it guides the external. How it extends its arms and grabs the matter around it, without us ever being fully aware of it. In this space, we may have a forceful reaction to what we dislike, a disdain that grabs the attention of what we do not want, which actually sucks it back toward us. It is it the law of attraction that functions here...however, it can't be the full story.

What happens next is very important, if not essential. The action that follows..is it defeat, is it bitterness? Is it acceptance? Does it imply you keep what you received even though you cannot enjoy it? Do you learn to live with your misery because it is all you ever got? Or do you release it back into the world, freely and without expectation, and try again? This part speaks volumes to who we are, what kinds of paths we've encountered so far in our evolution.  Can we truly let go of our own fears? Why is it so difficult is even a greater question... It's a fear, why keep it, hold it in your hand tightly, like an old coin? Does it mean that we treasure a useless object? Perhaps...but more so, it can mean that we have something to transcend that is right in front of us. Your fear can be your compass, and it is so close to you, that you don't have to search far and wide to discover the lessons that wait for you, the things you still need to work on. Your fear is there to guide you to it. It is close to you, for you grip it tighter than you think...it just shows its face in the most unexpected ways, wearing masks, and appearing at night. It isn't always a very bold teacher, it likes to hide...
It will go where you let it, where all your sorrows have been before, in the corners that are dark and dusty, left abandoned. It goes in the haunting thoughts that circle your head without knowing why...for it is just that, an energy that twists and turns your reality, your thoughts and dreams. Where it finds its dwelling is where to look..to search within for the pieces of yourself you've left unexplored, out of neglect, or out of fear.

What we do with what we're given is the mark of our evolution. Do we fully accept where we are, or do we keep trying? Even so, do we resign? Acceptance is the energy of freedom, or softly coming to terms and balancing into the current situation...just being in it and with it. Trying again afterwards is possible, so they are both compatible. Firstly, acceptance needs to happen before trying again, and we must dissect the pieces that led us there. Why? You can try again hastily, and you will not get to what you want, for you have not healed and understood where you were, you have not worked on the initial emotional response...which lingers, like a pesky insect. It won't leave you until you find its purpose in your world.This is integrating. Too many times, trying again won't lead to much but the same result, or it torments the will, the desire...the exhaustion that comes from perpetual failure, and it cripples the will to rise again. It is crucial to work internally with what attracted everything in the first place. Acceptance is one step, but perhaps the other parts involve inquiry, observation, patience, meditation, and looking at yourself with a thirst for knowledge and wisdom. Too many times we fall into the same situations, problems, relationships, etc. I've seen many scenarios that can mean something to us, the simple way the Universe speaks...so languidly perhaps, but it does...the key is to decode it, to catch it in the air, mid flight, and dance with it, to witness the magic of the smallest moments...the truth behind the stage.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

The Vault



Recently I've wondered, why do we attract what we fear? Why can't we attract what we love? And the answer may be simple...We can fear what we love. What is a quality can also be a flaw, an obstacle. What destroys us has the power to recreate us. What you fear has the power to heal you and show you self-love. In this contradiction, we must dwell and sink deeply, into its cold waters. We must truly feel it to the core and realize what it is showing us. We are at times at the mercy of our thoughts, inside an undying circle...

Why do we fear love? Is it the potential of being hurt? In the metaphysical sense, love cannot truly hurt, for it is an everpresent gift, an emotion that sustains you on the inside, that gives you its blossoms every time you feel it. It is a sense of being, a place of solace and mute understanding. It is a oneness and a hungry wolf. The dichotomy of love is one of living in duality, it is not universally painful. The fear is what tugs at our hearts, the last breaths of brokenness perhaps, still feels the true nature of divine love. However we may look at it, the fear is what throws us into the arms of hell, the lost anchor that makes us fall apart. With my own fear, I feel its energy take over and create a small, scared creature, a lost and divided field that is simply destructive. Love is creative. It is the freedom that sparks our imagination to roam through the dreamworld, to bring the sparks back to Earth and make them a reality. To take this pure energy and create with it in the material world is true alchemy. To have dreams together that you can mold and chisel and turn into something palpable is the sign of true, free love. It can pull you to look at your own subconscious and can show you some beautiful and rough things.

This is the unrestricted, loud mark of love. It is there for us, and we can use it to protect ourselves against the fear- or rather to transform it, transmute it. We do not need to cage it, for it would be the saddest sight, to cage a butterfly. All is the same ultimately, and the difference is in the wavelength we carve our emotions with, the way we breathe life into all matter and how we arrange the bricks of our lives, at the crossroads we eventually all reach. That one split decision takes you down that one road...A long road, one of consequence. Wherever there is fear, there is a lesson awaiting for you, the energy of its fight or flight is pure opportunity, a golden spark that you can use to build yourself. It is the way towards staring the demon in the eye and conquering it. The energy of despair is the vault to open.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Birth and Echo

The bruise shows you how to heal yourself...to walk the Earth in glory, rather than sorrow...for it is eventually transcended, the alchemy of spirit grows into it, it fades it into the night...with the stars as company. Your Self will be there, on its own, in its entirety, in nakedness...as fast as you speak, words will fall into the ground as lies...little lies told by a creature too small to feel with its own heart...but too big to be wrong. Like walking on a fragile world, you toughen it with steel and smoke...

The burnt eyes of truth wake up one more day...to show you something, to breathe silently on your spine. There, it awaits....solemnly. The dust of its blow is all you see, where is the gift? Hidden in the park, underneath the bench...in the tears of a child, hidden. Where does it reside? in the heart of a mother, a loss, a mending? Where does it go and stay? It sways with the seasons...it burns you more in the arid desert of your life, but find it still! Smile through the chill of your tears. Find its bright petals and silent stares, and loaded smiles, and hungry hearts...find it hidden in the echoes of a song, in the mountain air, underneath the deepest caves, the blue waters, the willows...find it hidden in a tragedy, find it and dig it out! In your own voice. For it is all that is...What is right and wrong is nothing but a play, literally and figuratively, a play as in theater, and as a game...and as a sort of dance. If you play back, you will finally understand, go with it, find the momentum, the source...you will laugh with it,and flow like the ocean. The edges will one day melt, and you will find the birth place of your Soul, new and eager to live.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Life lessons

Life is beautiful and fragile..and sometimes you have to stand naked in front of the cruelty, the storm, to taste the danger, on an edge made of the serene silence of tomorrow...standing on top of the cliff of your potential. Almost tasting the wild wind running through your lungs, the ravage of mystery...it keeps going. There is no real wisdom but the wisdom of now, which applies now, to nothing else, to no one else.
Only you are truth to yourself...Sometimes the edges that hurt are the beautiful desperation of feeling your own existence. The layers break and fade, and nothing else remains but you. If it tears at you, let it...for it is tearing at the covers, the walls, the delusions. If it breaks you, just let it...because it won't. If you feel broken, it is only your spirit feeling a surface illusion. The night covers you again and the daylight claims your face again...in the mirror, in their eyes. No matter what and where, the child plays in the sand of time...bruising their knees, laughing at the clouds. There is no change...the lessons trick us and change on us, the complexity grows. The seasons still smile, but they won't if you don't. The bleeding will lead to knowing you are life itself, and have not lost a thing.

The magic fades and returns, and as much as you are torn down, to the bone, you will realize that you will rebuild yourself from nothing, just as you did before, but you forgot that you made time and cooked up thoughts and sprung matter. And your lovers came from you, and the Sun invited you to see yourself finally....you forgot that you are timeless, that you stand still above it all.